Not Looking

It happened when I wasn't looking. Busy worrying about tyrants and pandemics and the world burning to ashes.

Love was the furthest thing from my mind. I already had it, after all. At least in theory.

But then… it snuck up on me from behind, whacked me with a mighty hammer, flipped my world upside down.

Oh, you weren't new in my life, not hardly. And, since we're laying things all out on the table here, neither were the feelings, at least not the core of them. I've liked you overmuch from the day we met. But it was… ok. I managed it. Kept you closer to my heart than I should have, but not so close as to burn.

So, what happened?

While the entire world shut down, people locking themselves away in their homes, families chatting from opposite sides of the street, just in case.

Where did that hammer come from?

And how did it land it's blow so very, very thoroughly?

True, the nail was already in place, but was the swing really so hard?

Or was my heartwood just that ready to accept it?

Either way, that nail is now stuck fast. No tool in the world could remove it. Any attempt would only drive it further in.

I don't know where this is going to go. Maybe it's all been my imagination, and I'll make a fool of myself one of these days. Maybe we'll somehow both find that magical path to being together. Maybe we'll be one of those couples they write about in the papers, who get married at 80 after the others have passed on, and they'll say that the timing just wasn't right. So many possibilities, but one thing they all have in common:

I will always love you. For the rest of my days. Even if we end up parting ways, going off to the opposite ends of the earth. That nail will always be there, always in its place in my heart.

Let's hope it doesn't come to that.

We haven't had the opportunity to make very many memories together, but the ones we have… will always be with me. Will always fill me with joy. Not enough, no, but they were real, each and every one of them. I'm always looking forward to making more… hopefully so very many more.

So in the end I guess it doesn't matter, really, whether I was looking, or where the hammer came from… This is where I am now. And where I am, is in love you with. Irrevocably, impossibly, in love.

With you.